Concept of drive-thru etiquette lost on many

I wrote this after spending a good 20 minutes waiting for my coffee in the Tim Hortons drive-thru. Once again, writing my column becomes an easy way for me to vent.

By Christopher Hofley
Word of Mouth -- Published August 24, 2007

"Can I take your order, please?
"Yes, one large coffee with milk, thank you."
"Can I take your order, please?"
"One double, double and a muffin, please."
"Can I take your order, please?"
"I'll have 4 coffees, and four sandwiches with the following..."
Oh, crap!
This is pretty much my average morning, generally taking place between 8:30 and 9 a.m. at either a Country Style or Tim Hortons.
Without fail, there will always be one genius in the group who decides to order the most complicated possible combination of things from a drive-thru and creating what has to be the most frustrating type of traffic jam in the history of the world – hungry gridlock.
There may not be any written rule or legal precedent compelling people to be considerate during the morning coffee rush, but let me offer one piece of advice to keep those angry, caffeine-deprived individuals from stealing your tires late at night.
This advice, while quite simple, is unfortunately widely disregarded: when visiting your neighbouring coffee shop during peak times, keep it simple at the drive-thru.
A coffee, a donut, orange juice and cookies are all acceptable orders that may be placed through that crackling square box.
A bagel with low-fat butter, three squirts of mayo, slices of moderately-ripened tomato and extra-crispy bacon are not.
I find it frustratingly bizarre to see so many people sitting at the drive-thru's menu board, trying to make up their minds about what to order when there is a line of 14 cars behind them.
The drive-thru, as far as I'm concerned, should be used by only two groups of people: those who have some sort of physical need where minimizing movement is of the utmost importance, and people with simple orders.
Have you ever driven past a Tim Hortons drive-thru, only to see an enormous lineup of cars idling their engines while they wait their turns? In this case, too often is there maybe one or two people inside placing their order at the counter.
It is hard to be sure if this is because people lack the type of thought process that allows them to say, "hmm, maybe it would be faster to go inside because there are less people there," or if it is because the average person is just lazy.
Is it really that taxing to park your car, get out and walk three feet to get your coffee? Doesn't seem like rocket science, but if it was as simple as it sounds, it wouldn't take 30 minutes of waiting in a drive-thru to get a coffee; people that want something simple could drive on through, while those who feel the need to order for their entire office could move it on inside.
People are becoming more reluctant to do anything that requires the smallest bit of physical effort. It's just a coffee; nobody is asking you to climb Mount Everest to get it, we're talking about walking from a parking lot to the front door of a building.
Just to be clear, I am not suggesting that it should be forbidden to place large, complicated orders from the drive-thru. I'm just saying pick your time to do so. If you are doing it at 3 p.m., chances are you won't create a log jam.
But out of respect for everyone else who needs a coffee – and if they are anything like me, they are totally nuts – keep it simple. The drive-thru could actually do what it was designed to do and become a convenient alternative.