Anarchy in flourescent orange: Bring on the revolution

This column followed a rash of petty vandalism incidents in Kemptville, where I work. Kinda surprised I didn't get my tires slashed for this one.

By Christopher Hofley
Word of Mouth -- published July 20, 2007
A quick message to the (presumably) teenagers spray painting orange anarchy logos all over town: way to stick it to the man with your powerful message of social change.
Just kidding. What, I mean to say is, what’s wrong with you? Seriously.
I realize, as someone who is not that far removed from his teenaged years, that vandalism can provide a cheap thrill. It can be seen, I suppose, as a way of doing something your parents wouldn’t approve of and a way of saying "ha ha, got ya!" to adult authority.
But I can assure you, and I’m speaking to the town’s orange spray-paint can-wielding little artists, if you take a second and think about these clever little attempts to give grownups the finger, it will eventually occur to you that you are acting like an immature little brat.
No, you are not cool. No, the smarter of your peers don’t look at you and see a dangerous, livin’ on the edge outlaw. They see a poor, troubled child with mommy and daddy issues.
And also, the whole anarchy symbol thing really doesn’t say much for your originality, my friends. It’s been done. We’re also no longer in the midst of the punk-rock movement of the 1970’s, so most people probably don’t know what you’re talking about, just that you might be a little overly fond of the letter A.
Also, if these darling perpetrators of this graffiti know the actual meaning of the anarchy symbol, I would be pretty impressed.
So, let me just recap quickly. So far we have established that:
• You are not cool
• You are not smart
• This is not the quickest way for you to find a girlfriend/boyfriend
• You are painting a symbol that you don’t know the meaning of
• I don’t think the anarchy symbol has ever been done in orange
• You are in no way original.
Also, for future reference, spray paint graffiti, stolen street signs, thrown eggs and toilet-papering has been done (probably by your parents which makes it even less cool) and you are not winning any points by redoing them
So, children, if the planets are aligned, there is a blue moon overhead and you happen to be reading this (it’s called a newspaper, you should read it more often), understand this: it’s time to grow up and use your time a little more constructively.
Try researching the anarchy symbol and the whole anarchy movement. Write a paper on it and impress your teachers. Try being more of an intellectual and less of a criminal, it will do you a lot of good and keep you out of the back of a police cruiser.
I’m going to finish this rant with a little message to the parents of these "artists". Keep track of your kids. Yes, I realize, you are currently sitting reading this and muttering "come on Chris, you may be very smart and handsome, but kids will be kids." While I appreciate the compliments and do agree that kids will be kids to a certain extent, letting them run wild with a can of spray paint is not going to earn you any mother/father of the year awards.
If you know your child is taking part in any of this sort of behaviour, do something about it. Next time the classic television newsline of "It’s 11 o’clock, do you know where your children are?" pops into your brain, give the answer some thought. If you don’t know where they are, find out, and stop the spread of this anarchy.